Shadows of the Soul
by Aerysa
Summary: Memories of a distant, human past return to haunt him.


**Shadows of the Soul**

A faint scent of jasmine teased his senses and he paused on the stoop of the entrance. It shouldn't have bothered him, but it seemed to draw out a long, forgotten memory from the darkest depths of his mind; in the same painstakingly slow process that it took to draw a bucket of fresh water from an olden day well.

"_Adeline, come back here!"_

"_No," she replied cheerfully._

_She continued to skip away from him, dancing lightly with every step as she headed towards the water's edge. A slight breeze picked up the salty tang of the ocean and ruffled through her long silken tresses; a sweep of corn-coloured hair billowing behind her like a flag rippling in the wind._

_Her steps took her into the water; the waves lapping across the sand and across her feet as she had no regard for the sandals she was wearing. While stopping to observe the roll of the water in the distance, she hummed a lively melody which was lost amidst the sound of nature's music._

_Sighing softly, he didn't want to bring her here as she was still recovering from a fever, but she had begged and pleaded endlessly. He finally agreed when she promised to stay away from the water. Clearly, he should have known that it was an empty promise as she was prone to do as she pleased, regardless of potential consequences. Rather, this was her respite from the indoors as she had been cooped up inside for more than a week._

_Slipping out of his jacket while he approached her, he knew she wouldn't be warm enough with only a shawl draped over her sweater. Not to mention, she was only wearing a knee-length wool skirt, no stockings and sandals. By her logic, they were the most comfortable footwear she owned – with no acknowledgement of the chilly weather made._

"_Here," he murmured, draping the jacket over her shoulders._

_She flashed a smile in his direction as she tugged it tighter around herself, still humming her song. Her gaze then returned to the water, continuing to watch the natural tug and pull of the waves as they moved back and forth, towards them and then away from them. Standing with her where they were, he could feel the sea water begin to seep between the seams of his leather shoes. Yet another pair ready to be discarded as it did not mix well with the salt. _

_He should have guided her away from the water, back to the dry sand, but he didn't. She would put up a fuss and no amount of reasoning would persuade her that she shouldn't be standing in the autumn's ocean. Instead, he stayed standing behind her, hoping to serve as a buffer against the elements._

"_Let's go," he finally said as the wind began to pick up._

"_No… Not yet."_

"_If you don't want to leave now, at least get out of the water."_

"… _Oh fine. You're such a spoilsport," she complained._

_Despite her protest, she smiled as she slipped her arm around his proffered one. They stepped back several paces until the water no longer reached them. Even so, she refused to retreat any further, stopping where they were only a foot away from the boundary of the wave's furthest reach inland._

"_Sit," he instructed, knowing better than to argue. "Let me dry your feet."_

_To this, she complied. He knelt down next to her and slipped her cold feet out of her sandals. She watched him for a moment before she began to observe the waves once more. As for him, he withdrew a checkered handkerchief from his pocket. It wasn't much in terms of a towel, but it was all he had at the moment._

_After he was finished, he pocketed the soiled cloth before helping her back into the footwear. When he finally sat down on the sand next to her, she murmured words of thanks. Only smiling in response, he turned to stare at her beloved ocean and she did the same. They didn't speak; two people alone at the beach where the grandness of the ocean drowned out any fears and failures of humanity with its sheer size._

_There was no recollection regarding the passage of time. He only took action when he noticed her shiver, despite the extra protection provided by his jacket. Slowly rising to his feet, he brushed the sand from his pants before turning to offer her a hand. Though she glanced up at it, and then up at him, she rewarded him with a mulish frown._

"_I don't want to go yet."_

"_It's time to go," he replied. "It's getting late and we can always return at another time."_

"_I don't want to go."_

"_Adeline…"_

"… _Do you promise to come with me again?" she finally asked after hearing his exasperated sigh._

"_Yes, I promise."_

_At this, she smiled and lightly placed her hand in his. With a gentle tug from him, she was up on her feet. Instinctively, she huddled deeper within the jacket and he took it upon himself to shake out her skirt. He didn't want the sand to transfer into the car as it would be a nightmare to clean it out._

"_Are you ready to go?"_

"_Mm…"_

"_What is it?" he inquired, recognizing the look of stubbornness on her face._

_The two of them were standing face-to-face and unexpectedly, she leaned in towards him. Hesitating slightly, he carefully placed his hands on her arms to steady her. Resting her cheek against his chest, she didn't answer his question and seemed content to stay as she was._

"_Adeline?"_

"_I'm cold," she finally said._

"_I did say we should go home earlier, but you didn't want to."_

"_Must you always be so prudent?"_

"_Someone needs to be since you aren't," he retorted lightly._

"_That's terrible of you to say!"_

"_But true…"_

"_Yes, I suppose so."_

_Tilting her head back, she gazed up at him as she smiled; she was fully aware of her own faults. Guileless green eyes met sky blue ones and he felt the pace of his heartbeat quicken. Of its own accord, his hand came up to cradle her cheek; the pad of his thumb caressing the velvety softness of her skin. She didn't protest, but rather leaned in closer still. Her lips parted slightly as he slowly closed the distance between them._

"_Luc…" she whispered breathlessly._

Another waft of jasmine scent floated along the wind, wrenching him away from the memory; a good thing too because he didn't care to recall the rest of that event. In fact, he didn't care to remember any of it; worthless memories of time long past – a human lifestyle he no longer needed.

It was amazing what had become of him after the transformation. Remembering a time which meant everything to him, yet feeling nothing – no emotions; no concern, no guilt and most importantly, no love.

Adeline, the fleeting fragile beauty with her glass heart, in love with an illusion.

Lucian, the strong and capable protector; her deceased lover and his younger brother.

And him, the eternal fool, willing to play the part because he had loved her; the one woman he could never have.

Though he hoped otherwise, other memories began to surface, overwhelming him like a flood.

The brilliance of her smile and the liveliness in her eyes when she gazed at the true Luc, while he forever remained the nameless older brother; the idiot he was, falling for her despite knowing he could never compete with Lucian for her affection.

That fateful night when the disastrous news arrived; that Lucian had been killed in a terrible accident on his way back for Adeline's birthday celebration; and her subsequent mental breakdown leading to prolonged hospitalization.

The sunny spring afternoon when she showed her first signs of response, mistakenly recognizing him as Lucian and the helpless pleading on her parents' faces for him to play along with it until she recovered.

He had been against it all along as no one imagined that he harboured deeper feelings for his brother's beloved; not that it had taken much persuasion for him to change his mind since he couldn't bear seeing her that way; a mere glimmer of who she had been before the tragedy.

How many times had he wished for time to reverse?

For him, the unnecessary one, to be taken instead?

Despite his willingness to help, she never did fully recover with only a partial grasp on reality. She would do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. Her favourite place to go during all season of the year was the beach as it was a place she had typically frequented with Luc. As the replacement, it was his responsibility to ensure no harm befell her.

Oh, what a torment it had been; to have her gaze at him with expressions she reserved for Lucian and to call him by another's name when he wanted nothing more than for her to look at _him_ like that and call _his_ name.

And now…

Both of them had departed from this world, leaving him behind.

Gradually, he was released from the torrent of memories, his cognizance returning to reality. It was then that he realized he was standing in front of the apartment entrance, his hand still resting on the door's handle. Not only that, but he was soaked to the bone as the rainy weather matched his current frame of mind.

Given the weather, it was a mystery where the scent of jasmines – Adeline's scent – had come from.

Sighing softly, he let himself inside as he was in dire need of a towel and dry clothes. Trudging his way along to their suite, he felt very much like a drowned rat. His clothes were wet and heavy, laden with the extra weight of the rain. Water dripped incessantly from his hair and he pushed it back, away from his face. If he didn't draw some sort of response with his soggy appearance, it would be a wonder.

"I'm back," he announced wearily when he entered the apartment.

Two heads poked around the corner to glance at him; April's eyes widening when she saw him and no changes to the blank expression on July's face. As one unit, they stepped out from behind the partitioning wall. The three of them stared at each other since he didn't want to be the first to speak. That only left April to comment as July never had anything to say.

"Where have you been?" she finally asked. "You're late. What the hell happened to you anyways? You look like you took a swim in the river."

"Might as well have… I was caught in the rain."

Arching her eyebrow in response, it was clear to see that April did not believe his lame excuse. It was the truth, though he didn't bother to share the reason why it had happened. Some things were better left unsaid. He didn't care to recall his past and he was certain it would be the same for her, if she even remembered.

"Hm?"

He glanced down when he felt gentle tugs on his pants. While he had been in discussion with April, July had left the entryway to retrieve a towel from the bathroom. Grinning in response, November thanked the boy before he started by drying his hair. Next was to shed off the wet clothes, a process which should have been disconcerting with two avid bystanders gazing at him.

"Leave it on the floor," April instructed as he was about to pass the wet suit jacket into July's waiting hands. "We'll clean it up later."

The boy nodded in response and stepped back until he was standing at her side once more. Shrugging slightly, November dropped it on the floor and continued to undress. A smirk touched his lips as he wondered how long they would watch. It wasn't like any of them would be discomfited, least of all him.

"Enjoying the show?"

"Hell yes," April replied with a smirk. "It's not every day I get to see you after a losing battle."

He laughed at the blatant untruth of that statement. As a team, they had been through a lot together and most of the time, it was up to April to get him out of tight situations. Not to mention, he had lost track of how many times she had drowned him, herself, the enemy and everything around them in a heavy downpour. This scene was nothing new, except it happened from natural causes after a reconnaissance mission.

"Welcome back," April eventually said after they watched him strip down to his unmentionables.

"Thanks."

"C'mon July. We can see that the big lout is in no danger of catching anything."

When he nodded in response, April laughed before leading July into the living room. Grinning, he shook his head in disbelief. It was impossible to know which part, if not all, of her statement July had just agreed to. Slowly wiping himself down, his thoughts returned to his earlier distraction, now that they were gone.

It was ironic how things had turned out…

It was supposed to be Adeline and Lucian, the perfect couple, who had their happy marriage and created a darling little family. That fantasy had shattered with Lucian's untimely death and everything else had fallen apart, spiralling out of control, because of that event.

As for him… He had sworn he would never marry, which he never did – especially when he was no longer human. Such an institution, based on emotions he didn't feel, was completely useless to him. At the same time, he had gained something more from this deviation that had taken place.

In a very loose application of the term, this was the closest they would get to being a "family" – him, April and July. Yet, it was even better than that of the traditional sense because there were no fickle emotions to complicate the matter. They worked together with a united front because that was the logical thing to do.

It wasn't where he would have imagined himself, but in the end, he couldn't say that he didn't like it as it suited him perfectly.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>

I wanted to do this as part of the Song-spired Series, but I couldn't find the appropriate lyrics and I was getting disheartened. Even then, the idea wouldn't leave me alone so I wrote it as a stand-alone.

The one-shot is basically my interpretation of what November might have been like as a human, based on what we know of him as a contractor. So I guess that means I see him as a tragic, tortured soul... Where he uses his carefree attitude as a shield to keep people at a distance. I can definitely see him being completely faithful to one woman, even if that woman doesn't love him back.

Anyways, when I read it, it doesn't feel as tragic as it could have been? I always think things have less of an impact on me because it was my idea to begin with. *shrugs* That said, feel free to disagree with my interpretation. The whole "could have been" scenario for him (and any of the other contractors) is a big wide-open black hole.


End file.
